[Title Here]

Well now that I sit down to write this, I have no idea what I want to say. Great.

So a friend of mine mentioned me in passing in a blog post recently, and that kind of inspired me to finally get around to doing this.  I've been making flailing motions at the internet for a while now, but nothing's ever come of it worth mentioning, which is a shame because I used to love doing this--I had a LiveJournal back in the day when that was relevant beyond fanfiction and otherkin communities (let's be real, that was never), made a few friends, talked about a lot of things, did some memes, the uzhe.

I didn't run out of things to say, but over the years it got harder and harder for me to just...say them.  Shit came up, you know how it goes.  Anyway, I dunno what's going to go here just at the outset.  Some people keep travel blogs, or comedy blogs, or whatever, but I'm probably not going to dedicate this to one cause in particular beyond whatever the hell I feel like saying.  Less a genre blog and more a personal statement, I suppose.  I don't even know who I'm talking to right now, nobody's probably going to read this post.  I guess I'm just talking to myself.

But yes, travel and comedy.  I'm going to be traveling a lot in the near future, because I'm moving halfway across the country.  Going to be shipping out to the Twin Cities for a spell, finally get out from under my parents' roof and see how well I can do on my own.  I'm pretty excited, because it had not fully dawned on me just how many friends I had in the area, like wow way to do your research 6, and also way to keep up with your social circles.  I've never pretended to be any good at that.  But yes, lots of cool people I've known from college, and high school, or just met out there through mutual acquaintances, and all that good stuff.  I'm not a huge social butterfly--actually, putting me in a room with a large group of people is a pretty good way to set me on edge because oh god I'm going to say something really stupid to someone--but I've been kind of starved of facetime since I've been back home.  All my local friends are gone, and I don't have enough respect for the people around here in my age group to reach out and make more.  A lot of interests just don't align, you know?

Why did I mention comedy and then just not say anything about it?  I dunno, foreshadowing.  Moving on.  So that's the biggest change in my life that's happening, but there are a lot of facets to it besides a simple relocation.  And almost none of those other complications are sorted, so these past few weeks have been quietly stressful.  Like, employment, that's a big one.  Applying to jobs.  Putting my face out there on the market.  Such a terrifying prospect.  Another huge concern is, I haven't seen my doctor in a while--it's cool I've booked the appointment, it just hasn't happened yet--and I'm going to need her to refer me to someone else in the area, hopefully within Minneapolis because that'll be the city I actually live in, but yanno public trans it's a thing.  Starting a relationship with a new doctor is always a song and dance, though.  It's one I'm familiar with, I've done it like four times already, but still.  There's the transfer of medical records, getting used to a new office with its own labs and billing policies, and hopefully the doctor's a good fit personality-wise, but it's never a guarantee.  When I graduated and had to switch from the University of Iowa system to the University of Maryland, there was a huge bureaucratic bugaboo, which I managed to mitigate by keeping my own personal records that I could share with my current doctor while my previous doctor's office got their shit together.

So I'll probably be doing that again.  Whee.

And yeah, so there's a lot on my mind at the moment, but only so much I can do about it at any given time, which is frustrating.  I'm not super patient when it comes to big looming problems, I'd rather just get them out of the way and sink or swim 5 times out of 7.  So I occupy myself with other things, like books and games, you know, typical nerd stuff.

By the way, I'm too old to be shoved into anyone's locker, and if you fuck with me I will break you in half.  If you fuck with my friends, I will break you in half.  Well, if they don't break you first.

That's a thing I've missed a lot: being that I live in rural nowhere, I haven't really had a lot of access to things like kickboxing dojos, or what have you, so I've gotten kind of out of practice, and definitely out of shape.  Reason #47 to move to the cities, right there.  Those things cost money though, usually, so that's another stressor on top of the job woes.  But I miss fighting, and having friends I could casually punch that wouldn't bitch about the fact that I just punched them.  I miss being able to walk down a street and confidently feel like a bad dude who don't take nobody's crap.  I still size up everyone I see for a fight, but increasingly I've been resigning myself to the idea that I'd probably lose, if it came to that.  Maybe that's just my self-esteem talking, which is weird because usually it's not that pessimistic.  Brutal, yes.  Full of itself, certainly.  Whatever.

So I guess that's probably what I'll use this blog for: tracking my progress on becoming a Bad Dude.  I've got no illusions: I'll never be the Baddest Dude Around, but that's okay it takes the pressure off somewhat.  I'll also talk about other stuff, hopefully a lot of shit that pisses me off because it's always good to rant and air that shit before it starts festering.  I haven't done that in a while, either.

Anyway, that's all for now.  6 out.